Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
ttyl tear gas
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
