if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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