rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
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