I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
