Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Dating After Heartbreak
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
So much Jack, so little girl.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.