For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
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he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
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she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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