I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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