Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
