I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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