Sry I called you an 8
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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