Umm I'm too high to move.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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