I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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