I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Acid is not a monday night drug
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
