hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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