I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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