evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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