What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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