I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
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just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
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He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
And my parents said I crawled through the house
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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