This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
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