i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
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It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
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BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize