I feel like I'm in dance class right now
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
where am i from again
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
