Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
