The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
