i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
