They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
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