I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
