I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
