my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
