i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
