hell yes lets make some ravioli
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
