she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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