My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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