Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
