Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
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He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
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She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
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