North Korea, Best Korea!
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
