Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
