It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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