ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
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So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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