considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
