Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
