Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
