I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
She told me I should be a condom model.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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