I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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