She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Drunk is a universal language darling
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
