on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
The ass gains better be worth it
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