From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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