Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
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where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
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But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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