I feel like abortions should bother me more
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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