I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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