You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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