woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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