i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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