She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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