Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
