this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
