if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I skipped work to stalk him.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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